Desert disasters... and other stories (part 1)

I'm breaking with the chronological order of our Israel trip to recount some hilarious escapades from our brief time in the Negev Desert, southern Israel.

When you look on the map, the northern end of the Dead Sea is only a few km from Jerusalem, but our 3-hour journey, to the south of it, had to negotiate around the West Bank, the area of Judea and Samaria which is controlled by the Arabs.

Since the Palestinian seige in the Church of the Nativity in 2002, and the building of the controvertial West Bank barrier, Bethlehem has been off limits to tourists. Our coach paused to overlook the Bethlehem valley...

...and follow the line of the West Bank barrier as it snakes its way across the land.

We also saw another barrier, errected by local people living on the overlooking road, who had been subject to sniper attacks during the recent conflict. The view has been painted onto the concrete slabs, probably to make it less intimidating to walk past and also remind them of what the view looks like.

As we travelled further and further south, the land became more barren and eventually recognisable desert. We pulled into the Bedouin village just before sunset and just had time for a camel ride.

A few of my very close friends will know that I'm not keen on horses (or similar creatures). I once was bitten on the backside by a wild donkey and pushed a few steps forward by a camel. My horse-riding trips have all been rather traumatic experiences, so much so that I refuse to go on one now.

However, I had decided to have a go on the camel and I was determined to be in the first group, so that I wouldn't loose my nerve watching the others. Our rather ugly beast was sitting on the ground ready for us to mount and I must say he did look rather harmless.

The double seat, was very uncomfortable, and the rising up to full height a bit scary (I think hysteria was setting in).

On a camel ride your body moves in a slow vertical circular movement, spiralling forward. When the beast rises from its scabby knees and then sinks again for you to get off, you lunge forward precariously. My knuckles were white from gripping so tightly.

But we were soon distracted by some very funny antics, taking place a few camels in front.

Poor Marielouise (Cape Town) was almost thrown off every few steps as her camel did a little jig, throwing its leg out, first one side and then the other. Andy took this, rather blurred photo (I was hanging on for dear life!), and was doubled up, he almost fell off! Everyone travelling behind was helpless with laughter for the short ride.

I can't say I enjoyed the ride, but it certainly was an interesting and hilarious experience. I must have been reeling from bravado, because I suddenly decided to clamber onto the back of a donkey for the return ride. They say 'pride comes before a fall' and I very nearly did...

Please notice two things about this photo: the first is the clean, white trainer in the foreground, and the second, the way my donkey is trying to overtake the donkey to the left. You can't actually see one other thing, that the saddle has slipped round his flank and I am leaning to the left to keep my balance.

My left leg was becoming trapped between the donkeys, so the handler moved the lead to the other side, but...

...now notice that my donkey is trying to overtake on the other side, hysteria is setting in again, and I am pushing away from that donkey.

I was becoming increasingly aware that my right leg was coming dangerously close to the tail of that donkey - with predictable consequences...

Zilneia (East Timor) and I after the trip! Oh dear! Actually, it doesn't look half as bad as it felt and smelt!!